Letter To My Band

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 22 Oct 2007 12:24 pm

Well I'm just getting home and I expected a whole lot of email action when I booted up but there's not a thing. But a whole lot of stuff here.
I can't respond to each and every post but here's some scatter-shot riffing---

Yesterday afternoon I sent another note in response to a very defensive, wordy explanation of each and every transgression and a whine about the difficulty of being, well, of being him I guess. My response was pretty much in line with the thinking that Dave M and Tony expressed later on. We are just about on the same page.

By the way---Cliff----I appreciate what you are saying and for sure, a lot of misunderstanding can ensue if/when imprecise writing botches up communication. However I am far more likely to say something I will regret face to face than to mess it up in email. I rarely, if ever, send something in the heat of the moment and Sat. night and all day yesterday I was pretty het up. I edit the hell out my writing to try to hone it down and tone it down to what I really mean to put across. Not to say that I am always successful. I tend to torture language the way that......no, that would have been clever but totally political.

I'm about to send out a last chance to save the situation---all I am requiring is for the guy to tell the band that he will be at any gig that he has committed to with good (complete and working) equipment. Not "I promise I will try" because that is just a setup for a future "I tried" and not "I will do my best" because that presages "I did my best". Bboth of these are no more than well intentioned maybes. It is such an obvious basic requirement that it embarrasses me to demand that someone make this commitment.

By the way--I never mentioned----drummer is childhood friend of banjo guy. Bassist has a drummer friend who is supposed to be a lot better who has specifically said that he wished he was working with us.

So there plenty of room for the story to be interesting for a while.

Thanks for the interest and well wishing.

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 22 Oct 2007 1:01 pm

For all you soap opry fans, here's the email I just sent:

Subject: one more try

Maybe the whole point of all this has been lost in all the unrelated wordage.

Here it is:

I expect every member of any band that I choose to be involved with to be at a gig with reliable working gear.

It is so basic that I would think it doesn't need saying.
But here we are.

I simply need to hear an unequivocal "yes."

--JL

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 22 Oct 2007 1:14 pm

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 22 Oct 2007 1:24 pm

How's your paradiddles? Banjo Jack Wants You.

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 22 Oct 2007 1:28 pm

My paradiddles are just fine, thanks, and I prefer boxers over briefs.

Tucker Jackson · Post by **Tucker Jackson** » 22 Oct 2007 1:29 pm

Jon, no matter what... don't forget to bring your picks and tone bar to the next gig. You'll never hear the end of it

Post by **Dave Mudgett** » 22 Oct 2007 2:02 pm

Yeah, Jon. That's it.

Should we start a pool on the result?

Let me say that I wouldn't bet on them coming around, but I hope they do.

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 22 Oct 2007 2:23 pm

Tucker--that's so funny----I just wrote an email to a forum friend telling of the time that I forgot my bar & picks. Hence the very first line of my very first email at the top of this thread. I don't expect perfection from others and I don't promise it from myself. Once we establish minimum baselines of responsibility, as policy and, more important, as practice, then we can forgive each other's shortcomings. But this guy is overdrawn at the Bank of Cutting Slack before we've barely even gotten started.

He has responded to the email with a "yes I agree." But the lawyer in me wonders "agree in principle or agree that this is how it will be from now on" which I proceed to ask him and his next email is to the effect that he cannot guarantee that nothing will ever go wrong but he will do his best to make sure that things like that don't happen in the future.
What did I say about "do my best?" Opens the door for that future "sorry, I did my best".

That is backing off from simply saying "don't worry--I've got it covered." And it doesn't cut it.

I just talked with the bass player and he thinks he doesn't ever want to play with the drummer again so as soon as I can hire the artist & writer I will try to present this all to you guys as a graphic novel. Except that as entertaining as this is, it's nothing that you all haven't beentheredonethat so I guess you won't buy the book, huh?

Ben Jones · Post by **Ben Jones** » 22 Oct 2007 2:30 pm

Should we start a pool on the result?

I didnt wanna say anything and i hope this does work out for you Jon, but its usually the guy making the reasonable request for professionalism that gets the axe, not the guy thats behaving unreasonably unprofessionally.

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 22 Oct 2007 2:40 pm

Hey Ben---fair observation but: my demand is either he TCB's or I walk, not that he gets booted.
And---bass player and I phone chatted and he expressed to me how embarrassed he was that it took the new guy (moi) to set straight what they had allowed to fester for so long. So he is totally with me (and totally wants to work with me).
I expect that your statement is true in a lot of cases but there's other stuff at work here.

b0b · Post by **b0b** » 22 Oct 2007 3:08 pm

I got to a marimba gig a couple of months ago and discovered that I had left the resonators at home. A marimba without resonators is, well, pretty quiet and dull sounding. Luckily, the gig was close enough to home to go back and get them.

Once I forgot my picks and bar on a steel gig. Used a flat pick and a pill bottle.

Cliff Kane · Post by **Cliff Kane** » 22 Oct 2007 7:25 pm

>>>By the way---Cliff----I appreciate what you are saying and for sure, a lot of misunderstanding can ensue if/when imprecise writing botches up communication. However I am far more likely to say something I will regret face to face than to mess it up in email. I rarely, if ever, send something in the heat of the moment and Sat. night and all day yesterday I was pretty het up. I edit the hell out my writing to try to hone it down and tone it down to what I really mean to put across. Not to say that I am always successful. I tend to torture language the way that......no, that would have been clever but totally political. <<<<<

That's good. I was in a band for a while with these guys who had to discuss everything through an email list. It was fine for logistics, but it got ridiculous. Half of the time these guys would end up flaming each other, and it introduced tension at rehersals. It left a virtually bad taste in my mouth. I hope you work it out. If it ain't fun, it ain't worth it, unless you're Pink Floyd.

Bo Borland · Post by **Bo Borland** » 23 Oct 2007 3:31 am

I got to a marimba gig a couple of months ago and discovered that I had left the resonators at home.
Once I forgot my picks and bar on a steel gig. Used a flat pick and a pill bottle.

b0b .. and they say the legs are the first to go!

I have never forgotten any equipment, ever.. that said you can be sure I will soon..

The other night our usually great guitar player who normally plays a custom Strat, Telly or ASAT, showed up with a brand new Gibon SG. When I say he fought with that axe all nite.. I mean he wrestled with it. It had not been set up, had .010's in stead of his normal 009's, a flat neck with wide frets and no radius. He could not play it worth a damn. He spent an entire original song looking for his C-harp in his gig bag.. IT was hilarious, like watching a train wreck.. at the end of the night I found out he was trashed, sh@tfaced drunk too!!
We all laughed about it the next night, comedy relief..

Lee Baucum · Post by **Lee Baucum** » 23 Oct 2007 4:49 am

Jon - I can even play clean flam-paradiddles!

James Cann · Post by **James Cann** » 24 Oct 2007 11:28 am

Although I agree with James C. . . . profanity isn't called for, I sometimes find that . . . a single but strategically placed expletive is sometimes a good attention-getter.

It is indeed, Dave, and I also believe strongly that the rarer the use, the more effective the impact.

But so what? My father, Art Cann*, once said, "Sometimes the only words that satisfy the moment are those words everyone knows, but even then, we each have better words to use."

*whom, I can honestly say, I never once heard use either of those words.

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 24 Oct 2007 1:16 pm

In case anyone is not totally bored with this, the story ends thusly:

I was unsatisfied with the guy's last response and announced that I was done. Bass player was unsatisfied with the guy's playing and decided that he was done. Banjo player (childhood buddy of the guy) had to tell him that he was done. He wrote a note to the band that was was totally defensive and still totally missed the point but was reasonably gracious (the official reason for dumping him was 'artistic differences') and it appears that this soap opera is over and not only are there no hard feelings but he may sit in with us for a song or two in the future.
As I wrote to him this afternoon:

Yo Lou----you are the rarest of the rare of the people I have known in my time on earth. You piss me off bad. But I really like you.

and it's true. And he had the nerve to write back:

You don't piss me off at all, and I happen to think you are one of the most entertaining people, and talented musicians I have ever met

Bastid SOB!

And we are scheduled to rehearse with a new drummer who is supposed to be good, has heard the band and eagerly wants in.

Hard to imagine a better outcome, eh?

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 24 Oct 2007 1:45 pm

So he's a liar too, eh?

Tony Prior · Post by **Tony Prior** » 24 Oct 2007 3:11 pm

You don't piss me off at all, and I happen to think you are one of the most entertaining people, and talented musicians I have ever met

Now you have to write him back and tell him he DOUBLE pisses you off because you don't PISS him off !

Kinda like I hate it when I am yelling at my wife and she tells me she Loves me..She's got her nerve

Whats wrong with these people !!

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 24 Oct 2007 3:37 pm

Boy, this sounds like a REAL pi$$ing contest!

Donny Hinson · Post by **Donny Hinson** » 24 Oct 2007 3:56 pm

My view (now that's it's over) is that each member is always responsible for his own equipment - unless someone else accepts that responsibility. If Mr. No-wheels turns his responsibility over to someone else, and that person accepts the responsibility, then it's now his job to see Mr. No-wheels has all his pots and pans.

It sounds like everything wasn't clearly defined from the start (the way it should have been), and that's what caused the ending problems. You simply can't have a shifting responsibility arrangement ("I thought yesterday he was gonna do it, and he thought last week I was gonna do it..."), and expect no problems.

James Cann · Post by **James Cann** » 24 Oct 2007 8:29 pm

If Mr. No-wheels turns his responsibility over to someone else, and that person accepts the responsibility, then it's now his job to see Mr. No-wheels has all his pots and pans.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be."

Jack Francis · Post by **Jack Francis** » 25 Oct 2007 2:17 am

Whew!! The "DRAMA" in a band.

This is why I don't go solo,,I know that the guitar player would want to fire the singer! $:\$

Jim Phelps · Post by **Jim Phelps** » 25 Oct 2007 5:05 pm

Then you don't want to hear about the stuff that happens all the time in the band I'm in. Great bunch of guys, just no communication or organization. No drama, just disorganization. I don't like that at all, but can't do anything about it and haven't found anything better yet. Onstage everything's fine.

FWIW Bo, a set of .010's on a Gibson SG is about the same as .009's on a Fender... most Gibsons have a shorter scale than Fender, 24.75 for the Gibson compared to 25.5 for the Fender, so a set of .009's on that short of scale are pretty loose. But I feel his pain... I switch around with my guitars all the time and sometimes have a fight with the guitar too.