Need Help Writing a Song
Moderator: Dave Mudgett
-
Billy Henderson
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: 17 Dec 2000 1:01 am
- Location: Portland, AR, USA
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Need Help Writing a Song
This is for a project about rural america.
This is a true story if you can call it a story.
The setting is an old what used to be fish house located about 10 miles due east of Jones LA, every Fri nite when it's warm, a group of old men and women come in, take out their guitars and fiddles and sing the old songs they grew up with. I could spend a lot of time describing the scene but these older folks, for a time, can relive their past singing and picking the songs they grew up with. Some don't hear too good any more, some play out of time, only one microphone, it's hot in the summer, mosquitos are bad. Sometimes a few locals will stop in and listen. But there is a special spirit that fills that old fish house, one that makes you come out feeling good. Everything has a purpose I suppose. Not like the pickers and singers playing on Broadway in Nashville, but someday, even they, after they are done, may too wander into the fish house east of Jones.
This is a true story if you can call it a story.
The setting is an old what used to be fish house located about 10 miles due east of Jones LA, every Fri nite when it's warm, a group of old men and women come in, take out their guitars and fiddles and sing the old songs they grew up with. I could spend a lot of time describing the scene but these older folks, for a time, can relive their past singing and picking the songs they grew up with. Some don't hear too good any more, some play out of time, only one microphone, it's hot in the summer, mosquitos are bad. Sometimes a few locals will stop in and listen. But there is a special spirit that fills that old fish house, one that makes you come out feeling good. Everything has a purpose I suppose. Not like the pickers and singers playing on Broadway in Nashville, but someday, even they, after they are done, may too wander into the fish house east of Jones.
-
Tony Prior
- Posts: 14712
- Joined: 17 Oct 2001 12:01 am
- Location: Charlotte NC
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
Charles French
- Posts: 394
- Joined: 9 Jun 2003 12:01 am
- Location: Ms.
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Billy, you don't need help writing the song. Just look back at what you wrote. You said you could go on and on, so just start writing as you did above. Don't try and write a song just write your feelings without rhyme, then take a look at what you wrote and your song will be there.
It's like Merle said "I've never been able to purposely sit down and try to write a song like some guy's get paid to do". "I feel like I'd be sweating out a bad one and miss a good one" or something to that effect.
I think the biggest mistake people make is trying to rhyme their feelings in a song. If you just start writing without trying to analize you will wind up with great food for thought. Buy what do I know, I ain't never wrote no hit song.
"After They're All Done"
It's like Merle said "I've never been able to purposely sit down and try to write a song like some guy's get paid to do". "I feel like I'd be sweating out a bad one and miss a good one" or something to that effect.
I think the biggest mistake people make is trying to rhyme their feelings in a song. If you just start writing without trying to analize you will wind up with great food for thought. Buy what do I know, I ain't never wrote no hit song.
"After They're All Done"
-
Billy Henderson
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: 17 Dec 2000 1:01 am
- Location: Portland, AR, USA
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Thanks Charles, I believe there's a lot to this story and would make a great song I think. I want to do it and post it on my web site about the Mississippi Delta (www.delta-dirt.com) The old pickers enjoy talking about their past, the old country dances and honky tonks they've played and the big country stars they've met. Most are not saving up for their next guitar but hopping save enough for their funeral expenses.
And Tony of course you can be in the song. There will be a part about an old guy wandering in on a dark night and opens his old guitar case and drags out a beat up old Fender guitar, tunes it by ear and plays til the sun comes up and telling stories about when he used to play in a band. That will be you my man!
Time moves on doesn't it?<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Billy Henderson on 21 January 2005 at 06:03 AM.]</p></FONT><FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Billy Henderson on 21 January 2005 at 07:06 AM.]</p></FONT>
And Tony of course you can be in the song. There will be a part about an old guy wandering in on a dark night and opens his old guitar case and drags out a beat up old Fender guitar, tunes it by ear and plays til the sun comes up and telling stories about when he used to play in a band. That will be you my man!
Time moves on doesn't it?<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Billy Henderson on 21 January 2005 at 06:03 AM.]</p></FONT><FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Billy Henderson on 21 January 2005 at 07:06 AM.]</p></FONT>
-
Ken Lang
- Posts: 4708
- Joined: 8 Jul 1999 12:01 am
- Location: Simi Valley, Ca
- State/Province: California
- Country: United States
Billy: It seems there might be more than just a song in your experiences. There may be a short story or longer that could sell to a magazine, depending on your wordsmith abilities. Some folks these days hunger for stories of a simpler life, of days gone that cannot be recovered. To be able to peer into those moments, however briefly, is soothing to the soul.
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Here's a song
10 Miles East of Jones ©2005 Bill Henderson and David L. Donald
V1
Friday night and the old folks, would gather to hear
Some songs from their pasts, and roll back the years
They'd sing out as one, on those the old melodies
If their timing was poor, it would still leave them pleased
CHORUS :
Down by the stream, 10 miles East of Jones
All the people would gather, to rest all their bones
And hear some good picking, on country guitars
With fiddles and steels, come from near and afar
V2
Round one lonesome microphone, the singers would stand
In the hot summer nights, swatting skeeters by hand
But a joy ous spirit, they would raise with their songs
They left no heart un-warmed, as the stream flowed on
V3
Folks don't hear so good now, some play out of time
Still the old songs sound fine, and most often rhyme
So if ever you roam searching for a feeling of home
Just stop by the old fish house, 10 miles east of Jones
<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 10:51 AM.]</p></FONT>
10 Miles East of Jones ©2005 Bill Henderson and David L. Donald
V1
Friday night and the old folks, would gather to hear
Some songs from their pasts, and roll back the years
They'd sing out as one, on those the old melodies
If their timing was poor, it would still leave them pleased
CHORUS :
Down by the stream, 10 miles East of Jones
All the people would gather, to rest all their bones
And hear some good picking, on country guitars
With fiddles and steels, come from near and afar
V2
Round one lonesome microphone, the singers would stand
In the hot summer nights, swatting skeeters by hand
But a joy ous spirit, they would raise with their songs
They left no heart un-warmed, as the stream flowed on
V3
Folks don't hear so good now, some play out of time
Still the old songs sound fine, and most often rhyme
So if ever you roam searching for a feeling of home
Just stop by the old fish house, 10 miles east of Jones
<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 10:51 AM.]</p></FONT>
-
Billy Henderson
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: 17 Dec 2000 1:01 am
- Location: Portland, AR, USA
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Ken I think you are right with a writer that 's good with descriptive type writing this would really make a nice story for a Rural Mag or Sunday paper, I have or can get pictures. I named the band "delta dirt". That's the name of the web site it's going on. Sometimes I get a chuckle as these old folks, at least for a while, things can be like they used to be. Thanks for your suggestion
David WOW!! thanks, you certainly have a touch. Can you help with the melody, just enough to get it going and I think I can go from there I think.
David WOW!! thanks, you certainly have a touch. Can you help with the melody, just enough to get it going and I think I can go from there I think.
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
I have a version mostly recorded now, but I have been on the cortisone nose drops so long I have little voice control at present.
I have a lead, and two harmonies done, but not for public consumption yet.
I also did a bit of word edits, when I actualy sang it, for meter and feel. They are inserted above.
I have a buddy coming to sing it right, but he needs a tooth pulled tomorrow am,
and some recovery first.
It has rhythm section piano bass drums, plus, acoustic Gt. and tele, but I need to add the bass, steel and mandolin.
Give me a day or so....
I have a lead, and two harmonies done, but not for public consumption yet.
I also did a bit of word edits, when I actualy sang it, for meter and feel. They are inserted above.
I have a buddy coming to sing it right, but he needs a tooth pulled tomorrow am,
and some recovery first.
It has rhythm section piano bass drums, plus, acoustic Gt. and tele, but I need to add the bass, steel and mandolin.
Give me a day or so....
-
Ken Lang
- Posts: 4708
- Joined: 8 Jul 1999 12:01 am
- Location: Simi Valley, Ca
- State/Province: California
- Country: United States
I can't help but mess up a good song idea, so I'll throw my two pennies in. It's just a beginning and certainly subject to revisions. I thought the explaination of the fish house would be good for the chorus, but haven't got there yet.
Anyway, for what it's worth:
There’s a Louisiana hayride, that nobody sees.
Tucked down by the bayou and beneath cypress trees.
On a warm Friday evening all the old folks come in
To share some old time music and be young again.
(Granny) plays the fiddle, she’s a hundred and four,
But there’s a fire in her eyes as she rosins the bow
I’ve seen those crooked fingers straighten out when she plays.
Guess the angel of the fish house knows their jamming today.
(Charlie) brought his gut guitar and can’t tune the strings,
But nobody cares, when Charlie stands up to sing.
With some help from the angel, he sings loud and sings clear.
While the folks in the fish house slowly turn back the years.
Anyway, for what it's worth:
There’s a Louisiana hayride, that nobody sees.
Tucked down by the bayou and beneath cypress trees.
On a warm Friday evening all the old folks come in
To share some old time music and be young again.
(Granny) plays the fiddle, she’s a hundred and four,
But there’s a fire in her eyes as she rosins the bow
I’ve seen those crooked fingers straighten out when she plays.
Guess the angel of the fish house knows their jamming today.
(Charlie) brought his gut guitar and can’t tune the strings,
But nobody cares, when Charlie stands up to sing.
With some help from the angel, he sings loud and sings clear.
While the folks in the fish house slowly turn back the years.
-
Billy Henderson
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: 17 Dec 2000 1:01 am
- Location: Portland, AR, USA
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
Donna Dodd
- Posts: 6847
- Joined: 29 Jul 2003 12:01 am
- Location: Acworth, Georgia, USA
- State/Province: Georgia
- Country: United States
This is great stuff, guys!
I can't help but notice a few other things -The smell of old grease cooling down permeates the smoke-filled room, and Ole Joe lies curled up by the screen door awaiting his nightly plate of hushpuppies. (Joe would be the “house” dog!). Don’t you think Ole Joe helps paint the picture? Better yet, put him next to a drum and let his tail keep the beat! <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm825' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/1070.gif' alt='Dog 1' border=0></a>
I can't help but notice a few other things -The smell of old grease cooling down permeates the smoke-filled room, and Ole Joe lies curled up by the screen door awaiting his nightly plate of hushpuppies. (Joe would be the “house” dog!). Don’t you think Ole Joe helps paint the picture? Better yet, put him next to a drum and let his tail keep the beat! <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm825' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/1070.gif' alt='Dog 1' border=0></a>
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
Billy Henderson
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: 17 Dec 2000 1:01 am
- Location: Portland, AR, USA
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
Ken Lang
- Posts: 4708
- Joined: 8 Jul 1999 12:01 am
- Location: Simi Valley, Ca
- State/Province: California
- Country: United States
-
Donna Dodd
- Posts: 6847
- Joined: 29 Jul 2003 12:01 am
- Location: Acworth, Georgia, USA
- State/Province: Georgia
- Country: United States
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Latest lyrical iteration posted above.
It has the more complete factual environment,
now scanning in meter.
There were a few facts not in the original story I had to add.
It is a river not a lake or pond..., But river didn't scan well.
Stream is fine and the Gulf Stream is certainly MUCH bigger than any river,
so it works factually.
Barring the unforeseen it will be sung today.
<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 03:23 AM.]</p></FONT>
It has the more complete factual environment,
now scanning in meter.
There were a few facts not in the original story I had to add.
It is a river not a lake or pond..., But river didn't scan well.
Stream is fine and the Gulf Stream is certainly MUCH bigger than any river,
so it works factually.
Barring the unforeseen it will be sung today.
<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 03:23 AM.]</p></FONT>
-
Auset Sarno
- Posts: 81
- Joined: 12 Sep 2003 12:01 am
- Location: St. Louis, Missouri, USA
- State/Province: Missouri
- Country: United States
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
Ok Billy, here is a complete version.
I will likely want to remix when my ears are less fatigued.
But it is complete.
All vocals by Joe Wigfall from an un-pronouncable village in Wales.
10 Miles East Of Jones
Which should be a bit of classic country ;Americana.<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 10:53 AM.]</p></FONT><FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 10:55 AM.]</p></FONT>
I will likely want to remix when my ears are less fatigued.
But it is complete.
All vocals by Joe Wigfall from an un-pronouncable village in Wales.
10 Miles East Of Jones
Which should be a bit of classic country ;Americana.<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 10:53 AM.]</p></FONT><FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 January 2005 at 10:55 AM.]</p></FONT>
-
Billy Henderson
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: 17 Dec 2000 1:01 am
- Location: Portland, AR, USA
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
ATTABOY'S FOR DAVID AND JOE. Such a pleasure to hear this song! Tomorrow I will have pictures of the Fish House and the Stream. The "Stream" is actually a small river named Boeuf River and looks like a stream. Its raining here and the stream is up but it is beautiful most of the year.
This will pull it all together I think. Will try to post a link. If you enjoyed the song please let them know!! Thanks to all who responded. We plan to have this written up in the local paper here and posted on the www.delta-dirt.com site
This will pull it all together I think. Will try to post a link. If you enjoyed the song please let them know!! Thanks to all who responded. We plan to have this written up in the local paper here and posted on the www.delta-dirt.com site
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States
-
Rick McDuffie
- Posts: 1439
- Joined: 2 Dec 2002 1:01 am
- Location: Benson, North Carolina, USA
- State/Province: North Carolina
- Country: United States
-
Rick McDuffie
- Posts: 1439
- Joined: 2 Dec 2002 1:01 am
- Location: Benson, North Carolina, USA
- State/Province: North Carolina
- Country: United States
-
David L. Donald
- Posts: 13700
- Joined: 17 Feb 2003 1:01 am
- Location: Koh Samui Island, Thailand
- State/Province: -
- Country: United States

