Your children:what's best,sports or music?

Andy Jones · Post by **Andy Jones** » 19 Jul 2010 2:28 pm

I was talking to some younger parents at church the other day and the subject of sports came up.They were saying what a hassle for them and their kids that sports had become.Constant practice,expensive trips to tournaments out of town,out of control parents and coaches,games going on well past midnight,missing church and other important events and just general heartbreak and disappointment for the children and their parents.

I told them if I had to do it over,my wife and I would have gotten our two girls involved in music,instead of sports.Both of our girls were cheerleaders,played softball and basketball and did gymnastics.We hauled them over a three state area for years to play ball,at a great cost financially and family time.We used to camp,boat and fish often.When it was time for sports,everything else took a back seat.

The point I'm getting at is this:sports are pretty much over when you're 18 or 19,unless you're good enough to play at college or go pro.You can play softball as an adult,bowl,or play golf,if you like.

Playing musical instruments can be played and enjoyed well into your senior years with proficiency,unless you suffer from some type of injury or disease that prevents you from doing so.

My youngest daughter did take up the piano.My wife and I just wish we would have gotten them into music,instead of so heavily into sports.

Any thoughts or comments from your personal experiences?

Andy

Luke Morell · Post by **Luke Morell** » 19 Jul 2010 2:50 pm

My daughter and son were both big in music while in school.Both played in school band and marching band,which took some money for them to eat when they traveled.My daughter did some sports,but my son has been big in music since he was 6-7 years old.

Ken Lang · Post by **Ken Lang** » 19 Jul 2010 4:06 pm

I don't think that is a choice parents have to make. You can push them in a certain direction, if that's what you mean, but only the kid knows what his interest is. And, only the kid should make the choice. Most know where they want to go.

Music and sports can both be enjoyed into later years and the kid, now old, knows when it's time to let go.

Richard Sinkler · Post by **Richard Sinkler** » 19 Jul 2010 11:22 pm

Ken's right. When I was married, my(then) wife and I thought her son (my stepson) should play little league. We pretty much decided that is what he should do. He had absolutely no interest in baseball and never really got good at it. He kind of just navigated himself towards playing guitar and was getting pretty good at it, the last time I heard him. Let the child make the decision on what activities they wish to persue.

Mat Rhodes · Post by **Mat Rhodes** » 20 Jul 2010 2:08 pm

Deleted

Ray Minich · Post by **Ray Minich** » 20 Jul 2010 3:58 pm

Hindsight is always clearer, based on perceptions.

When you're in the middle of it, making decisions day-in day-out, these days it's the kids, who complain until they get what they want, that determines the course of action taken..

I hate cell phones...

Post by **Dave Mudgett** » 20 Jul 2010 6:09 pm

My take - there's no easy, quick answer. Every kid is different, one size does not fit all. I think either sports or music are great if a kid is into it, but there are lots of other useful things to get into - math, chess, fishing, young entrepreneurial activities, hunting, writing, art, electronics, computers (as recreation or at a serious level), acting, dance, and a host of other things. In fact, I think a very basic exposure to and competence in several different types of activity is very important - how does a kid know what they'll like if they don't ever get encouraged to try some things?

Now, if a kid has passion for something constructive - and I think one should have a reasonably open attitude about what constitutes 'constructive, but I'm not gonna support stuff I genuinely consider evil - I think that should be encouraged as much as practically possible.

But I basically agree with Ken - what to focus on is really up to the kids, not the parents. I see too many Svengali parents who push the hell out of their kids in what often appears to me as a self-serving way to validate themselves. Why else would parents be screaming at umpires or other parents or at their kids over a bloody little league game or pressing little Johnny to play Rachmaninoff at age 12? Pushed too far, I think this can be a good recipe for neurosis at an early age. My opinion.

Richard Damron · Post by **Richard Damron** » 20 Jul 2010 7:10 pm

Thank you, David. My exact sentiments. Well said.

Michael Pierce · Post by **Michael Pierce** » 21 Jul 2010 9:29 am

Among a whole host of bad parenting decisions I made, the one that I can actually point to as being a good one was getting my son a Yamaha 88 key keyboard at about the age of 12. He developed a real passion for music that has served him well to this day. In addition, he was an excellent swimmer and competed at state and regional level events. Unfortunately, he burned out on the swimming (too many 2 hour practices at 6 in the morning), but has kept up with the music. My point is that I don't think the two are mutually exclusive, but, like others have said, the child will -- with some appropriate guidance -- find the path that makes them the happiest.

Andy Jones · Post by **Andy Jones** » 21 Jul 2010 10:44 am

My daughters wanted to play sports and we wanted them to play,also.I just wish we had put a limit on it.I think sports are important for children to develop physically and mentally.Heck,look at all the children that sit around playing video games and fingering a cell phone during all their spare time.

I'm not talking about making a living with music or sports,but,if they can,great.I'm just talking about leisure time or playing music or sports for fun or hobby.

When I was a kid,if the sport used a ball,I played it.All of us kids swam,hunted,fished,played in the woods and stayed busy outside all day.We got 2 stations on our black and white TV.I was a junior in high school when we got our first air conditioner.It wasn't hard times,that's just the way it was.

Jeff Hyman · Post by **Jeff Hyman** » 21 Jul 2010 6:54 pm

Many good replies... Ken & Dave especially.
I have seem, over the years my 4 children have grown up, that music in the school system is first on the chopping block to cut back on a school budget. A HUGE influence not mentioned is pier pressure... many times in a good way. I played Soccer because some of my friends did, as compared to not playing football due to all the a$$ jocks. Music was interesting. We had a full orchestra in 3rd grade. You don't see that anymore today in my school district. My dad played Sax, but I went with the Trumpet because all my buddies did, and it was back when Herb Albert was making it popular.

Bottom line for me is that music is a huge influence on brain development at an early age. Parents should fight to keep in more in the front line of curriculum

$.02.

Leslie Ehrlich · Post by **Leslie Ehrlich** » 21 Jul 2010 11:28 pm

If I had kids I'd let them play sports or music for their own enjoyment instead of getting them involved in adult organized leagues or competitions that require expensive training, equipment, and travel.

Ray Minich · Post by **Ray Minich** » 30 Sep 2010 3:14 pm

Oops, technology bit me...

Don Drummer · Post by **Don Drummer** » 9 Oct 2010 5:44 pm

This question reminds me of a bass player, Tim Taylor, originaly from Chas. WV. At 6'4" in high school he had to bear the pressure to play basketball and could care less.

Brett Day · Post by **Brett Day** » 9 Oct 2010 7:21 pm

Doctors had told my mom and dad that if I lived, I wouldn't be able to walk, talk, or have any knowledge of music and at a very young age, I started singing and harmonizing. I played Tee-Ball for a little while, but stopped not too long after I started. Instead of action figures and things like that, I played with little plastic guitars. With cerebral palsy, I realized sports wasn't really my thing, so I concentrated more on my singing. I strummed a guitar with just my right hand, played piano by ear with just my right hand, but I realized I wanted to play an instrument with a country sound, so I started playing pedal steel in 1999 and have found my instrument in addition to my singing. One of the reasons I play pedal steel is because I love country music and I wasn't about to say no to playin' my favorite instrument.

Brett

richard burton · Post by **richard burton** » 10 Oct 2010 12:09 am

The whole point of sports in schools is to tackle the obesity epidemic.

How many thin steelers do you know ?

Dustin Kleingartner · Post by **Dustin Kleingartner** » 1 Dec 2015 9:35 am

Came across this old thread, and it's something I've thought about for awhile

Growing up my parents insisted that I do something, whether it be sports or music, or something else.
I always played baseball, but had a long falling out with little league. My old man said I could switch to guitar lessons if I chose. I jumped at the opportunity and never looked back...
I still play guitar in various forms, and it has changed my life in ways that sports never could have. Even if I had played sports through high-school, I can almost guarantee I wouldn't be doing anything sports related today. I guess my point is that society puts so much importance on sports and team work, etc. , and those values are things that can be learned in ways that are a lot more enjoyable for some than sports

Rick Campbell · Post by **Rick Campbell** » 1 Dec 2015 10:12 am

I played music all through school. I'm going to wait until I'm 70 and take up playing football.

RC

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 1 Dec 2015 10:46 am

I guess my point is that society puts so much importance on sports and team work, etc. , and those values are things that can be learned in ways that are a lot more enjoyable for some than sports

Read this and see what you think - I happen to agree with the author.
https://www.questia.com/library/1081466 ... -addiction

chris ivey · Post by **chris ivey** » 1 Dec 2015 10:46 am

looking back, i could be happy making a million bucks for a weekend of golf.
but i've never played golf.

Richard Sinkler · Post by **Richard Sinkler** » 1 Dec 2015 11:15 am

chris ivey wrote:looking back, i could be happy making a million bucks for a weekend of golf.
but i've never played golf.

They would give the million to get my sorry butt off the golf course, and stay off.

Rick Campbell · Post by **Rick Campbell** » 1 Dec 2015 6:27 pm

chris ivey wrote:looking back, i could be happy making a million bucks for a weekend of golf.
but i've never played golf.

I'm with you Chris. I'm 56 and thus far undefeated.

RC

Charlie McDonald · Post by **Charlie McDonald** » 2 Dec 2015 4:07 am

I guess my point is that society puts so much importance on sports and team work, etc. , and those values are things that can be learned in ways that are a lot more enjoyable for some than sports

https://www.questia.com/library/1081466 ... -addiction

The article wrote:Gerdy asks tough questions. Have sports lost their relevance? Is it just mindless entertainment? Is our enormous investment in sports as educational tools appropriate for a nation that needs graduates to compete in the information-based, global economy of the twenty-first century? Do organized sports continue to promote positive ideals? Or, do sports, in the age of television, corporate sky boxes, and sneaker deals, represent something far different?

The answer to the question is always 'yes.'

Teamwork becomes competition rather than cooperation.
Music teaches individual contribution, furthering cooperative efforts, and promotes brain development, focusing on instructive means
rather than destructive results. Fine motor skills, the use of fingers, go with cerebral development. It's a no-brainer, to me.

Jeff Hyman wrote:Bottom line for me is that music is a huge influence on brain development at an early age. Parents should fight to keep in more in the front line of curriculum

Don R Brown · Post by **Don R Brown** » 2 Dec 2015 6:02 am

Ken Lang wrote:I don't think that is a choice parents have to make. You can push them in a certain direction, if that's what you mean, but only the kid knows what his interest is. And, only the kid should make the choice. Most know where they want to go.

Music and sports can both be enjoyed into later years and the kid, now old, knows when it's time to let go.

There's your answer IMHO. The best gift you can give your kid in this context is the exposure to the choices, and the support when he/she decides on one.

Our son played 3 years of soccer and lost interest. Eventually, he asked about getting into racing at a dirt track we sometimes went to. After 6 years in kage karts, he moved up to microsprints against age 12-adult, and in his 3rd year won the track championship. We had also bought him a beginners keyboard, and he plunked my old 6-string, but we let him choose his own path.

That kid is now 27, married, has a great job with a tech firm, and at the moment is spending 12 weeks for training in the National Guard. We're proud of him but we can only take credit for showing him the options - the actual path he took and the follow-through were his own doing.

Graham · Post by **Graham** » 2 Dec 2015 11:43 am

Without a push, my daughter did both. Music all thru school, where she excelled on the clarinet. Outside of school, she played house league soccer. Of course, her choice of sport changed when she hit 16 and discovered boys!!