Another New Carver/West/Ayres Company

Fred Shannon · Post by **Fred Shannon** » 8 Apr 2003 7:31 am

Roy, sent the money and received the jockstrap, but it only has one leghole, what now? Stump I'm not sure this is on the up and up and up and up...Er ah, where was I? Betcha' this somehow ends up in the humor section...You guys better get the lawyers ready.

FRED

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The spirit be with you!
If it aint got a steel, it aint real

Roy Ayres · Post by **Roy Ayres** » 8 Apr 2003 7:38 am

Ok, all you smart alecs. You don't think this business is legit? Well, then, why do you think we have spent millions to come up with new products like our Chameleon Paint? Spray this marvelous invention on your pedal steel guitar and it will change colors to fit the gig you are playing. For Johnny Cash gigs it turns black. For Lee Ann Rimes gigs it turns blue. For John Conlee gigs it turns rose colored. For Porter Waggoner gigs it turns electric blue with rhinestones. And, last but not least, for Bluegrass gigs it turns invisible. Order your own spray can today and be in demand by all the famous artists.<FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Roy Ayres on 08 April 2003 at 08:39 AM.]</p></FONT>

Gene Jones · Post by **Gene Jones** » 8 Apr 2003 8:16 am

Disclaimer......

Please be advised that Gene Jones is not a corporate member of OSH-IT and cannot assume any liability or responsibility for the quality or delivery of any merchandise offered by this company, or for any of it's hiring policies in regards to age, weight, or age, in the event of Judicial Review.

I am only a salaried, union employee and my hands are as clean as the wind-driven snow!
Gene Jones

Carl West · Post by **Carl West** » 8 Apr 2003 12:00 pm

Decision was made to disgard turtles of any sort since PTEA gets upset. We'll be using disgarded large snail shells as the flexibility seems better than the first choice. They should be available in small, medium and large depending on Roy's location in Florida. I understand the meeting was called but . . no minds attended. soon as the video equipment is up and running meetings will be on a regular scheduled time period.

Carl West . . .
(Title unknown at this point)

CrowBear Schmitt · Post by **CrowBear Schmitt** » 8 Apr 2003 12:50 pm

all you'se guys are doin' is talkin' !
check out this Steelbuilder:
he's quiet as mouse and gets the job done ! http://steelguitarforum.com/Forum4/HTML/003536.html
you guys are gonna have to start wakin'up early if you want to get it on !

Carl West · Post by **Carl West** » 8 Apr 2003 1:01 pm

Well . . looks like this newest enterprize is washed up before it got started. Darn that dad-gum smart-elec Smiley anyway.

Roy Ayres · Post by **Roy Ayres** » 8 Apr 2003 1:01 pm

Carl:

I said PITA was suing us, Gene Jones said PETA was suing us, now you tell me PTEA was upset. I guess we may be in trouble if all three are after us. So, I guess your idea to use snails is what will save us. Not a bad idea. I know that at your age you were having trouble outrunning those turtles, but hopefully you can run fast enough to catch those snails.

I've been wondering what we could do at some of the steel guitar shows to capture the attention of that vast world of SG players -- and now I know. We will serve free escargo.

And, I've come up with a slogan to promote our snail-shell picks: "Every man who plays music has a woman, but steel guitar men have their pick."

Carl West · Post by **Carl West** » 8 Apr 2003 1:58 pm

Roy, I near caught several of them buggers
and after my medication takes effect . . I'll give it another go. Never figured them to be as swift as they are out here . . must be the 87 degrees ?
And a "Red Snails In The Sunset" CD will be shipped with each order.

Carl

Jody Carver · Post by **Jody Carver** » 8 Apr 2003 2:42 pm

Roy Ayres · Post by **Roy Ayres** » 8 Apr 2003 3:48 pm

Thanks, Carl. You are a good "organization man." Jody just sits there waiting for you and me to do all of the work, so he can go out and sell this merchandise that is really good enough to sell itself. We do all the work and he gets the 90% commission he voted in during that board of directors meeting we missed.

BTW,

t
.
.
.
Here's the "t" I forgot to put on "escargot"

John P. Phillips · Post by **John P. Phillips** » 8 Apr 2003 4:02 pm

Hey guys, here's an idea that might get Jody off the hook with the viagra thingy.
How about a rectal volume control. It's always "UP" for the job, requires no hands, and can be operated by sliding forward or backward, and modifications can be made to add "TONE" control by shifting from side to side. GLORY BE, IT'S HANDS FREE

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JUST 'CAUSE I STEEL, DON'T MAKE ME A THIEF

Jody Carver · Post by **Jody Carver** » 8 Apr 2003 4:19 pm

HARPO MARX

Mike Perlowin RIP · Post by **Mike Perlowin RIP** » 8 Apr 2003 5:40 pm

Would you guys like to take over the sales of my Mike-A-Seat?

Here's how it works:

Have you ever wish you had just one more knee lever, but had no place to put it or body parts left to activate it? Announcing the invention of the all new MIKE-A-SEAT with a built in SPHINCTER LEVER. The answer to your problem. All you have to do is just insert the special hydraulic tube from the bottom of your MIKE-A-SEAT into a jack in your guitar (the jack must be installed by our technicians, but this service is performed free of charge,) then simply sit down. and presto, another change at your disposal.
For those of you who prefer, we are also offering the sphincter lever by itself which you can personally install.
The all new MIKE-A-SEAT and SPHINCTER LEVER are available at your local steel guitar shop. Be sure to specify size when ordering.

Roy Ayres · Post by **Roy Ayres** » 8 Apr 2003 6:06 pm

John P. -- Looks like Mike has beat us to the draw on that idea. His device may work for you. I tried it, and it didn't work. I may as well have just stuck it . . . oops! This is a family forum.

Mike, you almost got me in trouble. Your device is uncouth. We don't handle nothin' but couth stuff.

Same goes for Smiley's products. I think his stuff is a joke, but we are very serious about our products. (Anyone should know that dominoes are out and checkers are in.)

Ken Lang · Post by **Ken Lang** » 8 Apr 2003 8:32 pm

Here is a suggested slogan for the new company.

We screw the other guys and pass the savings on to you.

Carl West · Post by **Carl West** » 9 Apr 2003 7:33 am

Well Mike . . dunno about that. I'm runn'in 7 knees now and just the other day a picker told me what I could do with 6 of um ?
And Roy, does this mean I have to come up with yet another letter head ?

Carl

Roy Ayres · Post by **Roy Ayres** » 9 Apr 2003 9:42 am

Carl:

Don't do that letterhead just yet. I got it through the grapevine that the union Gene belongs to is thinking of becoming affiliated with the musicians union -- and gosh knows where that could wind up.

Gene Jones · Post by **Gene Jones** » 9 Apr 2003 10:26 am

....not likely Roy....I can't afford a letterhead! I paid my first musician union dues of $175 in 1949 and I still haven't recovered it in scale jobs!

Gene

Carl West · Post by **Carl West** » 9 Apr 2003 12:59 pm

Gene, Wow I remember local 47 here in Hollywood way back when. Hank Cochran told me I had to take a test to join ! I beleived him ! He's made more money writ'in songs than I ever did . . the ole koot !

Carl West