Worst Pop Lyricists?

Tom Olson · Post by **Tom Olson** » 8 Oct 2007 5:14 pm

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Maybe Sting should start writing more instrumentals.

The school teacher-turned-rock star topped Blender's list of the worst lyricists, thanks to lines that betray "mountainous pomposity (and) cloying spirituality," the music magazine said.

The survey, contained in the November issue that hits newsstands next week, placed Rush drummer Neil Peart at No. 2, Creed frontman Scott Stapp at No. 3, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher at No. 4, and soft-rocker Dan Fogelberg at No. 5.

Blender assailed Sting for such alleged sins as name-dropping Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov in the Police tune "Don't Stand So Close to Me," quoting a Volvo bumper sticker ("If You Love Someone Set Them Free"), and co-opting the works of Chaucer, St. Augustine and Shakespeare.

A spokeswoman for the English rocker, who is currently in Belgium on the Police's reunion world tour, did not respond to a request for comment.

Blender described Canadian rocker Peart's lyrics as "richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science," and said Gallagher "seemed incapable of following a metaphor through a single line, let alone a whole verse."

Further down the ranks, Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant (No. 23) was derided for his Tolkienesque musings on Gollum and Mordor in "Ramble On."

Carly Simon (No. 31) was mocked for rhyming "yacht," "apricot" and "gavotte" in "You're So Vain."

Paul McCartney made No. 38, thanks in part to "Ebony and Ivory," his socially conscious duet with Stevie Wonder.

Reuters/Nielsen

Chris LeDrew · Post by **Chris LeDrew** » 9 Oct 2007 4:10 am

Yes, and some of the richest as well.

Tom Olson · Post by **Tom Olson** » 9 Oct 2007 10:26 am

I can't say that I disagree in regard to some on this list. But I can't figure out for the life of me what's wrong with rhyming "yacht," "apricot"(??)

Also, I've always thought it was pretty cool that Led Zeppelin sang about one of my favorite stories (Lord of the Rings).

Oh well.

Les Anderson · Post by **Les Anderson** » 9 Oct 2007 10:48 am

Listen to some of the grammatical construction of the lyrics of many country songs; especially the classics and in that era.

I recently took a writer’s course and we had to work our way through ten of the older country music songs and pick out all the errors in grammar in each song; then, rewrite them. It was mind boggling and actually very humorous at times.

Chris LeDrew · Post by **Chris LeDrew** » 9 Oct 2007 10:48 am

I'd say Sting is responsible for selling more Nabokov novels than any literature course.

Andy Greatrix · Post by **Andy Greatrix** » 9 Oct 2007 10:59 am

More often than not, criticism says more about the critic than who or what they are criticizing.

There is such a thing as poetic license.
They are not composing a legal briefing.

Ben Jones · Post by **Ben Jones** » 9 Oct 2007 11:13 am

Gotta agree with Neil Peart at #2. "Bytor and the Snowdog!"

My #1 woulda been Madonna for rhyming "soy latte" with "double shot-tay".

I wonder who the worst country lyricists list would contain?

Tom Olson · Post by **Tom Olson** » 9 Oct 2007 11:42 am

Les --

I've noticed the same thing about grammar. Lots and lots of pop and rock songs from the 60's and 70's are also filled with grammatical errors. Of course, many of those songs just wouldn't be the same if correct grammar had been used.

It seems the single thing I notice most as far as grammar in song lyrics is using the word, "that" instead of "who" when referring to a person (e.g., "she's the one that did me wrong"). I'm not sure if it's incorrect or not -- it just seems to me that it should be "who" when referring to a person.

ajm · Post by **ajm** » 9 Oct 2007 11:43 am

Another wannabe critic makes up another list picking on people who have achieved more that he/she ever would in a thousand lifetimes.

It's interesting that they picked writers of songs where you can actually u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d what the singers are singing. It would have been too much work to pick on some other vocalists that sing like they have a mouth full of marbles.

Andy Sandoval · Post by **Andy Sandoval** » 9 Oct 2007 12:45 pm

I listen to music for the pure enjoyment of it, not for a dadgum grammer lesson. Some of these here critics got waaaay too much time on there hands. (Maybe they'll read this and correct my spelling and grammar.)

John Steele (deceased) · Post by **John Steele (deceased)** » 9 Oct 2007 1:14 pm

My nomination for worst rhyme in the country genre goes to Alan Jackson, for rhyming "playin' with me darlin'" with "fishin for Blue Marlin"

Yeesh...
-John

Brint Hannay · Post by **Brint Hannay** » 9 Oct 2007 1:59 pm

How about Roger Miller's

"Roses are red, violets are purple,
Sugar is sweet, and so's maple surple"?

Actually, that's one of my favorite rhymes of all time!

Of course, that was meant to be funny.

Then, in the Worst Rhymes (and Grammar) in the Country Genre category, how about

"The work we done was hard
At night we'd sleep, 'cause we were tired"

(We love you, Loretta!)

b0b · Post by **b0b** » 9 Oct 2007 2:35 pm

The lyrics to "Louie Louie" are brilliant!

Joe Butcher · Post by **Joe Butcher** » 9 Oct 2007 5:06 pm

Most lyrics, taken out of context, or taken away from the music, are pretty bad.
But who cares? A good song can easily excuse bad lyrics.

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 10 Oct 2007 7:34 am

From Moe Bandy's "Here I am I'm drunk again:"

"I'm drunk because that you are gone ..."

Al Collinsworth · Post by **Al Collinsworth** » 10 Oct 2007 8:32 pm

Doug Beaumier · Post by **Doug Beaumier** » 10 Oct 2007 9:51 pm

Nobody But Me

written by Ronald, O'Kelley, and Rudolph Isley
recorded by The Isley Brothers (1962)
also recorded by the Human Beinz (1968)

-----------------------------------------------------

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
The shing-a-ling
Like I do

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
the skate
Like I do

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
The boogaloo
Like I do

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
the philly
Like I do

Tom Olson · Post by **Tom Olson** » 11 Oct 2007 6:31 am

I've always gotten a bit of a chuckle out of the old Cream song, "I'm So Glad." At least I think it was Cream. I'm sure it was Eric Clapton singing.

As far as I can remember, the complete lyrics are:

"I'm so glad, I'm so glad, I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad" (repeat until the end of the song.)

Brint Hannay · Post by **Brint Hannay** » 11 Oct 2007 6:44 am

Actually, "I'm So Glad" was Jack Bruce singing. And that's the chorus; there were verses:

Don't know what to do, don't know what to do
Don't know what to do

And two more lines I could never make out.

The song is originally by Skip James.

Clyde Mattocks · Post by **Clyde Mattocks** » 11 Oct 2007 6:48 am

Once during a rehearsal, the guitar player told me "Nights in White Satin" was written in twenty minutes. Funny, I would have guessed five.

Brint Hannay · Post by **Brint Hannay** » 11 Oct 2007 6:55 am

"Incense and Peppermints cripple mankind..."

(How many remember that one, by The Strawberry Alarm Clock? And wish they didn't?)

Barry Blackwood · Post by **Barry Blackwood** » 11 Oct 2007 7:31 am

OK Al, "I'm drunk because who you are gone."

Better

Dayna Wills · Post by **Dayna Wills** » 11 Oct 2007 7:58 am

A friend of mine refuses to sing Coal Miner's Daughter bedause she refuses to sing the line where "hard" is rhymed with "Tard" (tired)
Word out of Nashville is that the
"powers that be" do not want songs that rhyme "exactly" like moon, June, tune, etc.
(I thought that was the purpose of a "rhyme"....????)

Ben Jones · Post by **Ben Jones** » 11 Oct 2007 8:35 am

Once during a rehearsal, the guitar player told me "Nights in White Satin" was written in twenty minutes. Funny, I would have guessed five.

that one definetly is nails on a chalkboard for me.

Stephen Silver · Post by **Stephen Silver** » 11 Oct 2007 9:45 am

I worked with Mary Kay Place in the late 70's.

Bad lyrics? Well, I think this was meant to be a parody song, but from "Baby Boy".....

We ate some chunks of tuna
And we kissed under the moon-a
I knew right then that we'd be thick as fleas

Whew.....

SS

The Steel Guitar Forum

Worst Pop Lyricists?

Worst Pop Lyricists?

that vs. who