Dan Dowd
From:
Paducah, KY, R.I.P.
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Posted 2 Jul 2000 5:32 am |
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I don't know where this came from, but it was sent to me and I thought the computer GURU's would get a laugh from it.
Just in case you think you are technologically challenged, the following is an excerpt from an article in the Wall Street Journal:
1.Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where
the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out
to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. The customer had stuck labels on the diskettes, then rolled them into his typewriter to type on the labels.
4. Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later, a letter arrived from the customer
along with photocopies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the
tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the tech
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with
soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an
invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
9.A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer". The user had tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the
computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed
and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
11. Another customer called Compaq Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the
unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What Power switch?"
12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show?"
Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
13. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to
put in the second disk, and I had some problems with that disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in.." The
user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
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Jack Stoner
From:
Kansas City, MO
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Posted 2 Jul 2000 7:42 am
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That's one of those joke things that has been circulating around the internet (and various other methods long before the Internet - the first time I saw something like that was on an internal IBM PROFS system message). How much of it is true is probably like the (hoax) Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookie (the Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookie story that has circulated for years is a hoax although the actual chocolate chip cookie recipe is supposed to be a good one).
However, having been a Help Desk manager, I can tell you there are some funny situations and many times you have to lead the user by the hand - but nothing like what was listed.
The "any key" is a joke that has been around for years in the computer world, even before Personal Computers. My tech's got away from the "any key" just because of the jokes and would tell users to hit the enter or space bar so they wouldn't have to listen to "any key" jokes or remarks.
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Rich Paton
From:
Santa Maria, CA.,
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Posted 8 Jul 2000 12:33 am
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I used to fix quite a few PC's for friends. At one guy's house, I asked him where he kept his Win95 "startup disk".
He pulled open a desk drawer, and in it there were a bunch of floppy diskettes, all stuck to the magnet of an old 6"x9" speaker.
I thought to myself "pretty obvious what your problem is". (LOL)
He's actually become a pretty decent PC fixer himself, but his data storage method had to go! |
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