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Topic: Amusing review of noted country music artiste Kenny G |
Earnest Bovine
From:
Los Angeles CA USA
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Posted 17 Mar 2000 10:52 pm |
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Review of a Kenny G concert from The Other Paper, Columbus, Ohio, by John Petric.
"Getting Down With The Milquetoast Maestro" by John Petric
A whole lotta people paid a whole lotta money to witness a whole lotta meaningless breathing exercises done through a musical snorkel Saturday night at the Columbus Convention Center. Kenny G - the mayor of mayonnaise music, the milquetoast maestro, the woodwind weasel - played his saxophone to roughly 5000 people at $25 per head. That adds up to a $150,000 gross and boy, gross it was. G is the latest and most successful instrumentalist with a slight jazz pedigree to hit the big time. However, in G's case, it's with an authenticity so questionable he may as well document it with a fancy diploma from somephony offshore jazz school in the middle of the Caribbean. Even Zamfir comes with better jazz credentials. Ornamental romantic themes ruled the night's jazz lite hell. Goopy, chimey electric piano usually introduced his tunes, G's wimpy soprano sax then laid down a melody fit for a lovesick poodle on Prozac. If Holiday Inn motel art could come to musical life, it would sound like G's "Forever in Love" or "Sister Rose" or "Sentimental," all horrible crap from "Breathless," his bezillion-selling album on Arista. The Thin White Duke of Puke's solos were the color of air. His improvisations improved none at all as the long night dragged on. His chops consisted almost entirely of pyrotechnic finger exercises and obnoxious minutes-long sustains that had the crowd whooping and hollering. Sadly though, the long-winded G has all the fiery jazz imagination of, say, Richard Clayderman, the French dude. (He's French, for crissakes, need I say more?) After the G-weasel committed atrocity after atrocity in the name of jazz,pulling tunes off his seven-album catalog, the question remained. Why is this weenie doing so well? Opener Peabo Bryson joined G for a song in the middle of the headliner's set. It was the best part of the show.
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Pat Jenkins
From:
Abingdon, VA, USA
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Posted 18 Mar 2000 6:22 am
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| Ernie, I get the distinct feeling this fellow doesn't like Kenny or his cute sister Sally...Sally G.....Pat |
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Mike Dennis
From:
Stevens Point WI.
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Posted 18 Mar 2000 6:31 am
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| I'd agree... very boring... no soul in his style at all. |
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Earl Erb
From:
Old Hickory Tenn
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Earnest Bovine
From:
Los Angeles CA USA
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Posted 18 Mar 2000 5:16 pm
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| Whatever you think of Kenny G, you've gotta admit the guy who wrote that is an artist with his word processor. "Milquetoast maestro" and "The Thin White Duke of Puke's solos were the color of air" indeed! |
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Slim Lattimer
From:
Anaheim, CA USA
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Posted 19 Mar 2000 11:57 pm
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| Back in December, exiting a Doctor's office while Kenny G's "Aulde Lang Syne" was playing for the 447th time that day, I reminded my mother that we hate Kenny G, "and Michael Bolton" she replied. |
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Chris DeBarge
From:
Boston, Mass
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Posted 22 Mar 2000 10:41 am
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What does Kenny G say when he rides in an elevator?
"Man, this place rocks!"
Groan at will... |
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Steve England
From:
Austin, TX
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Posted 22 Mar 2000 11:40 am
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Ahh Micheal Bolton and his nasty Fabio lookalike haircut. Slim, your Mother sounds like one okay lady  |
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