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Post new topic Not a puzzle!
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Author Topic:  Not a puzzle!
Ron Anderson


From:
Keystone Colorado, USA
Post Posted 11 Jan 2018 9:15 am     Reply with quote

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that..

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks .. but all mine ever says is good-bye.

You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

Denny’s has a slogan, "If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us." If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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GFI Student Model. Peavey Session 400.
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Erv Niehaus


From:
Litchfield, MN, USA
Post Posted 11 Jan 2018 10:07 am     Reply with quote

Ron,
Some good ones there! Laughing Laughing Laughing
Erv
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David Weisenthal


From:
Arizona, USA
Post Posted 11 Jan 2018 10:13 am     Reply with quote

Ron, I like the Mayberry observation.
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Derby SD10, Rukavina 8 string lap, Peavey session 400, Carvin xv-212
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Allen Hutchison


From:
Kilcoy, Qld, Australia
Post Posted 11 Jan 2018 1:18 pm     Reply with quote

Good stuff Ron - another vote for Mayberry!

Cats must be related to dolphins, 'cause they do likewise! Very Happy
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Charlie McDonald


From:
out of the blue
Post Posted 12 Jan 2018 4:13 am     Reply with quote

The last one may have something to do with the first one, or vice versa.

All these are genuine puzzles. Great observations.
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