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Author Topic:  Bass Player Jokes
Bo Borland


From:
South Jersey -
Post  Posted 20 Oct 2015 8:52 pm    
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Charlie McDonald


From:
out of the blue
Post  Posted 21 Oct 2015 5:48 am    
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There was one of Fakebook; something about the bass player who tried to jump in front of a train but fell behind.
I guess his motive was because he couldn't score with the girls, being a bass player. It's not funny.
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Bo Borland


From:
South Jersey -
Post  Posted 21 Oct 2015 8:15 am    
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CMac, it was actually a bass player who wanted to commit suicide but jumped behind the train
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Bo Borland


From:
South Jersey -
Post  Posted 21 Oct 2015 8:16 am    
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Charlie McDonald


From:
out of the blue
Post  Posted 21 Oct 2015 8:19 am    
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Thank you Bo; I knew he was late somehow. These are good ones.
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Erv Niehaus


From:
Litchfield, MN, USA
Post  Posted 21 Oct 2015 8:37 am    
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When I got my Fender Precision bass way back when, I played it with a felt pick.
Does anybody remember those?
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Jerry Overstreet


From:
Louisville Ky
Post  Posted 21 Oct 2015 10:56 am    
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...and there was this accounting from the archives. http://bb.steelguitarforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=225908&highlight=fourth+street+live
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post  Posted 22 Oct 2015 3:46 am    
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_________________
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Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
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I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post  Posted 22 Oct 2015 3:50 am    
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_________________
(1) E6 Rogue lap steel, (1) A6 Rogue lap steel, Li'l Izzy, Zoom MS-50G Effects Pedal into a Berhinger mixer and Harbinger V2112 speaker(s).

Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
http://www.qsl.net/na4it

I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
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Joachim Kettner


From:
Germany
Post  Posted 22 Oct 2015 4:59 am    
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Du spielst Bass, ich spiele besser (You play bass, I play better).
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Larry Jamieson


From:
Walton, NY USA
Post  Posted 22 Oct 2015 6:30 am    
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The bass player was mad at the rest of his band mates.
Somebody changed one of his tuning pegs and wouldn't tell him which one...
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Walter Killam


From:
Nebraska, USA
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 6:35 am     Every Band Needs A Bass Player
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Why does every band need a bass player? Someone needs to explain these jokes to the drummer!
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Joey Ace


From:
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 8:01 am    
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Q: How many Bass Players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: one-five , one-five, one-five, one-five, one-five ...
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Don R Brown


From:
Rochester, New York, USA
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 8:44 am    
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Scott Duckworth wrote:


I guess he has no trouble practicing scales......
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Dennis Junge


From:
Colorado, USA
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 10:19 am    
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Scott, the seven string ambidexterous bass made scales even more difficult. Larry slowly realized something smelled fishy about his new bass....
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Larry Carlson


From:
My Computer
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 12:14 pm    
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Scott Duckworth wrote:


I will bet you $57.12 that guy is Stephen King.
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Dennis Junge


From:
Colorado, USA
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 7:03 pm    
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Inexplicably, Larry's long-time girlfriend seemed rather bemused about his new bass, but his cat seemed strangely attracted to its unusual rhythmic pulsations. Perhaps he could create a new wave and channel his passion for deep walking bass.
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Dennis Junge


From:
Colorado, USA
Post  Posted 23 Oct 2015 7:09 pm    
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His bass always seemed to enter a tranindental zone evertime Larry pressed down on the anal fret.
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Charlie McDonald


From:
out of the blue
Post  Posted 24 Oct 2015 1:53 am    
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Erv Niehaus wrote:
When I got my Fender Precision bass way back when, I played it with a felt pick.
Does anybody remember those?

Now those were funny!

Larry Carlson wrote:
I will bet you $57.12 that guy is Stephen King.

I thought something looked fishy about that picture....
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post  Posted 24 Oct 2015 3:31 am    
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_________________
(1) E6 Rogue lap steel, (1) A6 Rogue lap steel, Li'l Izzy, Zoom MS-50G Effects Pedal into a Berhinger mixer and Harbinger V2112 speaker(s).

Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
http://www.qsl.net/na4it

I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post  Posted 24 Oct 2015 3:31 am    
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm?
A tattoo.

What do a bass and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
_________________
(1) E6 Rogue lap steel, (1) A6 Rogue lap steel, Li'l Izzy, Zoom MS-50G Effects Pedal into a Berhinger mixer and Harbinger V2112 speaker(s).

Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
http://www.qsl.net/na4it

I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post  Posted 24 Oct 2015 3:32 am    
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A boy came home from his first bass lesson. His dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the E string."

The boy came home from his second lesson and dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the A string."

The boy came home from his third lesson. Dad asked, "So did you learn the D string today?"

"Nope. Today I had a gig."
_________________
(1) E6 Rogue lap steel, (1) A6 Rogue lap steel, Li'l Izzy, Zoom MS-50G Effects Pedal into a Berhinger mixer and Harbinger V2112 speaker(s).

Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
http://www.qsl.net/na4it

I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post  Posted 24 Oct 2015 3:34 am    
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A man decides to go on a vacation on a Pacific island. When he steps off the plane, it is amazing: Cool, light ocean breeze, palms gently swaying in the wind, white sandy beaches, drums off in the distance. He goes to his hotel, checks in, starts having the time of his life.

When he turns in on the first night, he can still hear drums off in the distance. They were charming at first, but now it's little annoying, and he has a hard time going to sleep. The next morning, he goes to concierge and asks about the drums. The concierge replies: "The drums, they never stop. Very, very bad if they stop."

So the man goes about his day in paradise, having a great time, but the drums never stop. He tries to ignore them, but they interfere with his sleep the second night. The next morning, fuzzy-headed from too many island drinks and too little sleep, again asks the concierge if something can be done about the drums. He gets the same reply: "Drums not stop. Very bad if they do."

The rest of the day is not fun. The drums are driving this man crazy, and he isn't getting any sleep. The next day he is ready leave. He packs his bags and goes up to the front desk to check out. But first the man finds the concierge to give the concierge a piece of his mind. Suddenly, the drums stop.

He says to the concierge: "They finally stopped! Thank god, I can get some sleep. I was about the leave."

The concierge says: "This is bad. Very, very bad. Flee from this island while you still can."

"Why?"

"Drums stop. Bass solo next."
_________________
(1) E6 Rogue lap steel, (1) A6 Rogue lap steel, Li'l Izzy, Zoom MS-50G Effects Pedal into a Berhinger mixer and Harbinger V2112 speaker(s).

Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
http://www.qsl.net/na4it

I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
John Dahms


From:
Perkasie, Pennsylvania, USA
Post  Posted 25 Oct 2015 9:15 am    
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What does a bass player use for birth control?

His personality.
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Fruit flies like a banana.
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Charlie McDonald


From:
out of the blue
Post  Posted 25 Oct 2015 9:43 am    
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Scott Duckworth wrote:
The next day....

By this time, even a bass player could guess.

Where do you get these, the Bass Player Joke Book?
Sheesh, a bass player could get an inferiority complex (but we know that would come from his low self-esteem Sad )
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