What are the dumbest lyrics ever written?

Milton C. Willmann · Post by **Milton C. Willmann** » 1 Jul 2004 8:27 pm

Abracadab Lyrics
Ding Dong Howdy
From Bob Reid with Abracadab
Words and Music © Doug Haywood

I pulled into Cowtown Saturday night
and a little bitty boy helped me putting up the light
to my Medicine Wagon and my Seein’ all Screen
He said it was the best thing that he’d ever seen
He said, “What are you doing?”
“Abracadab!”
“What’s your name?”
“Ding Dong Howdy!”
“And the best old time that you’re ever gonna have
is with Ding Dong Howdy and Abracadab!”
O-oh Abracadab, O-oh Ding Dong Howdy
and the best old time that you’re ever gonna have
is with Ding Dong Howdy and Abracadab!

I opened up my show
I sold about a case of my home brewed , “Whoops!”
and I was staring in the face
of a big old sheriff with a waxed mustache
he showed me his badge and then he took away my cash
He said, “What are you doing?”
“Abracadab!”
“What’s your name?”
“Ding Dong Howdy!”
“And the best old time that you’re ever gonna have
is with Ding Dong Howdy and Abracadab!”
O-oh Abracadab, O-oh Ding Dong Howdy
and the best old time that you’re ever gonna have
is with Ding Dong Howdy and Abracadab!

Now they were heatin’ up tar, they brought along feathers
I said, “ Wait a minute, I can even change the weather!”
Went into my wagon and presented them a cane
pointed at the heavens and it started pouring rain
They said, “How'd you do that?”
“Abracadab!”
“What’s your name?”
“Ding Dong Howdy!”
“And the best old time that you’re ever gonna have
is with Ding Dong Howdy and Abracadab!”
O-oh Abracadab, O-oh Ding Dong Howdy
and the best old time that you’re ever gonna have
is with Ding Dong Howdy and Abracadab!

------------------
Milton C. Willmann

Burr Oxley · Post by **Burr Oxley** » 2 Jul 2004 9:20 am

How about "Ain't No Sunshine," by Bill Withers? I mean, how many times can you repeat "I know," ad infinitum?

Eric West · Post by **Eric West** » 2 Jul 2004 12:02 pm

I know...

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 2 Jul 2004 12:47 pm

I've submitted this entry in other similar threads and it still holds:

"And I knew (I knew I knew I knew I knew)
That she would make me happy (happy happy)
Flowers in her hair
Flowers everywhere!

I love the flower girl.........."

Eric West · Post by **Eric West** » 2 Jul 2004 3:37 pm

Jon. Not that I ever took more than my share, but I think it was all the good government made LSD going around at the time..

It was one of those things you had to be there for I guess....

Not that I necessarily was, or wasn't...

"

Itchycoo Park.

Over bridge of saints
To rest my eyes in shades of green
Under dreamin' spires
To Itchycoo Park, that's where I've been

What did you do there?
I got high
What did you feel there?
Well I cried
But why the tears there?
I'll tell you why
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful

I feel inclined to blow my mind
Get hung up feed the ducks with a bun
They all come out to groove about
Be niceand have fun in the sun

Tell you what I'll do (what will you do?)
I'd like to go there now with you

You can miss out school (won't that be cool)
Why go to learn the words of fools?

What will we do there?

We'll get high

What will we touch there?

We'll touch the sky

But why the tears then?

I'll tell you why..

It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful

I feel inclined to blow my mind
Get hung up feed the ducks with a bun
They all come out to groove about
Be nice and have fun in the sun

It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
Ha! It's all too beautiful

-The Small Faces-

EJL

Jon Light (deceased) · Post by **Jon Light (deceased)** » 2 Jul 2004 3:44 pm

For the record, I'm afraid I took well more than my share. Probably delved into several other people's shares as well. My bad. But apparently not enuff to find the brilliance within the song.

Rick McDuffie · Post by **Rick McDuffie** » 2 Jul 2004 7:34 pm

I was gonna say:

"Simple Simon says put your hands in the air,
Let your backbone slip, Simon Says..."

Donny Hinson · Post by **Donny Hinson** » 3 Jul 2004 3:45 pm

I just came across a record in my collection by The Dillards. (For those young 'uns who aren't aware, they were a popular bluegrass band who were also "The Darlin's", that old hillbilly band featured on several episides of the old Andy Griffith show...along with "Ernest T. (Charlene, I LUVE YOU!) Bass.

Anyway, back to this record...The Dillards do a song called "Who Stole My Underwear?". It even features a pedal steel!

Whooooo stole my underwear?
Ittttt was my only pair.
They're not anywhere...in my rooooom
Who took my ol'....Fruit of the Loom?

Eat your heart out, Bob Dylan!

Kenny Dail · Post by **Kenny Dail** » 3 Jul 2004 5:33 pm

Although it was brought up 3 times previously, I will type the correct words in the "Mairzydoaks" song:

Mares eat oats
and Does eat oats
and little Lambs eat ivy
A Kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you...

------------------
kd...and the beat goes on...

[This message was edited by Kenny Dail on 03 July 2004 at 06:36 PM.]

Bart Maloney · Post by **Bart Maloney** » 3 Jul 2004 6:15 pm

I will have to nominate Toby Kieth with "Who's your Daddy." A totally pointless song.

Jon Moody · Post by **Jon Moody** » 6 Jul 2004 9:25 pm

How about:

a. "I just don't look good naked anymore"
b. "I hope heaven has a walmart"

well:

a. I couldn't care less
and
b. who in the world would to get to heaven and find the hell we call walmart here on earth?

Andy Volk · Post by **Andy Volk** » 7 Jul 2004 4:19 am

I vote for McArthur Park.

Bob Hayes · Post by **Bob Hayes** » 7 Jul 2004 5:08 am

I Like Bread & Butter
She Likes Toast & Jam

Ya Ya Lookin'for my Wa Wa

Does your chewing gum loose it's flavour on the bed post over night

Mark Metdker · Post by **Mark Metdker** » 7 Jul 2004 6:22 am

How about the Loretta Lynn classic:

"In the daytime we worked hard, at night we slept cause we was tard"

Jason Stillwell · Post by **Jason Stillwell** » 7 Jul 2004 8:59 am

And lets not forget the country classic that starts: "I was overseas in battle when the Postman came to me." (Dear John)

In that same vein, (though I love the song) ET's "Soldier's Last Letter" seems a little hard to visualize. Upon finishing the letter, the mom fought against tears in her eyes...

"But they came unashamed
For there was no name
and she knew that her soldier had died."

I'm assuming that the letter was found in the soldier's possession, unfinished, and that when he was found dead, the ones responsible said, "Hey, instead of informing his mommy, let's just mail this letter and see if she can put 2 and 2 together."

Brad Sarno · Post by **Brad Sarno** » 7 Jul 2004 4:13 pm

I'd have to say that as far as newer songs go, there are a couple of Toby Keith songs that I've heard in the last year or so that truly had the most pandering pathetic soul-less insulting lyrics I've ever heard come from my radio. He's got an OK voice, but the things he says make me embarrassed to be even caught having that radio station on. One song was about sticking a boot in some poor nation's "@$$" because it was the "American Way" and another was about wanting to talk about himself. Really really stupid lyrics.

Brad Sarno

Jim Phelps · Post by **Jim Phelps** » 7 Jul 2004 5:41 pm

.[This message was edited by Jim Phelps on 17 November 2004 at 08:02 PM.]

Kenny Dail · Post by **Kenny Dail** » 7 Jul 2004 7:44 pm

Mr Phelps, Thank you so much for settin the record straight.

------------------
kd...and the beat goes on...

Rex Thomas · Post by **Rex Thomas** » 8 Jul 2004 3:16 pm

Not "dumbest", but I laugh every time I think of this. From a demo for a songwriter I played on long ago:
"Bought you a chair & a TV set & I ain't pleased you yet!!"

Stephen Gambrell · Post by **Stephen Gambrell** » 9 Jul 2004 3:48 am

Mark M., that's priceless!
And Brad, sad to say, the same dude who wrote that idiotic Toby Keith "I wanna talk..." song, also wrote "He Stopped Loving Her Today."

David Doggett · Post by **David Doggett** » 9 Jul 2004 6:22 am

Just heard these oldie lines for the strained poetry category:

You've got to pick up every stitch.
Two rabbits running in the ditch.
Must be the season of the witch.

Ray Minich · Post by **Ray Minich** » 9 Jul 2004 8:57 am

Don't be too hard on "I know the Flower Girl". I got some Vietnam Vet friends that tell me that tune helped them pass some otherwise unpleasant time.

Tom Olson · Post by **Tom Olson** » 10 Jul 2004 4:37 pm

I don't know if this classic Cream song has been covered in this thread yet, but we certainly can't forget these profound lyrics . . . . .

"I'm so glad, I'm so glad;
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad."

(repeat ad nauseum)

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 10 Jul 2004 6:16 pm

In a gadda da vida (baby)...

Jim Cohen · Post by **Jim Cohen** » 10 Jul 2004 6:17 pm

I love my shirt, I love my shirt,
My shirt is so comfortably love-ly[This message was edited by Jim Cohen on 10 July 2004 at 07:40 PM.]