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Post new topic The Laws of Nature
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Author Topic:  The Laws of Nature
Jim Cohen


From:
Philadelphia, PA
Post Posted 5 Apr 2018 5:53 am     Reply with quote

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch, and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get
a busy signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the phone will ring.

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone
you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss (or your wife) will ask you to do something which
will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent locker.

3. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible especially IF you
don't know what you are talking about.

15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16. Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet!

17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
_________________

www.JimCohen.com
www.BeatsWalkin.com
www.RonstadtRevue.com
www.sunfrog.com/PedalSteelThings/Steel-Guitar
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Ian Rae


From:
Redditch, England
Post Posted 5 Apr 2018 7:08 am     Reply with quote

Wow Jim, that's not a post, that's an encyclopedia. Now I know EVERYTHING.
_________________
Homebuilt keyless U12 7x5, Excel keyless U12 8x8, Hilton pedal, Telonics mini rack and 15" cabs
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Craig Stock


From:
Westfield, NJ USA
Post Posted 5 Apr 2018 8:23 am     Reply with quote

Jim, Retirement has served you well, now where is that Groucho Marx Avatar again?
_________________
Regards, Craig
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Jim Cohen


From:
Philadelphia, PA
Post Posted 5 Apr 2018 8:50 am     Reply with quote

Retirement? Who's retired? I'm a full-time musician and busier than ever...
_________________

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Larry McFall


From:
Huntsville,Alabama, USA
Post Posted 5 Apr 2018 8:59 am     The “Laws of Nature” has always worked for me! Reply with quote

Well assimilated, it works well for my group.
_________________
Played the Steel from 1948. Have had the opportunity to play a multitude of Military venues considering I spent over 32 years with the U.S. Army. Got to play in many foreign countries which was fantastic. Married to the same woman for more than 55 years. Have children, all of them served in the military. 7 Grandchildren.
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Ian Rae


From:
Redditch, England
Post Posted 5 Apr 2018 9:33 am     Reply with quote

Retirement is totally misunderstood. Now that I can do all the things I couldn't do when I was working, I never have any spare time Smile
_________________
Homebuilt keyless U12 7x5, Excel keyless U12 8x8, Hilton pedal, Telonics mini rack and 15" cabs
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Jon Seiff


From:
Massachusetts, USA
Post Posted 9 Apr 2018 2:32 pm     Reply with quote

What's a "busy signal?"
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Lee Baucum


From:
McAllen, Texas (Extreme South) The Final Frontier
Post Posted 9 Apr 2018 6:24 pm     Reply with quote

Jon Seiff wrote:
What's a "busy signal?"


And, how do you "dial" a number?
_________________
Lee, from South Texas - Down On The Rio Grande

There are only two options as I see it.
Either I'm right, or there is a sinister conspiracy to conceal the fact that I'm right.


Williams Keyless S-10, BMI S-10, Evans FET-500LV, Fender Steel King, 2 Roland Cube 80XL's,
Sarno FreeLoader, Goodrich Passive Volume Pedals, Vintage ACE Pack-A-Seat
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