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Post new topic With Age Comes Wisdom
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Author Topic:  With Age Comes Wisdom
Robert Thomas


From:
Mehama, Oregon, USA
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 3:50 am     Reply with quote

Benefits to growing old:

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run — anywhere.

4. People call at 9 p.m. (or 9 a.m.) and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer consider you a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 p.m.

9. You can live without sex, but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate at predicting the weather than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can’t remember why you’re reading this.
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Scott Duckworth


From:
Etowah, TN Western Foothills of the Smokies
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 4:52 am     Reply with quote

20. Your bark is worse than your bite... because of your false teeth... or the lack of teeth.
_________________
E6 Rogue lap steel, D6 Regal RD-30MS squareneck reso-guitar, Li'l Izzy, Zoom MS-50G Effects Pedal into a Berhinger mixer and Harbinger V2112 speaker(s).

Amateur Radio Operator NA4IT (Extra)
http://www.qsl.net/na4it

I may, in fact, be nuts. However, I am screwed onto the right bolt... Jesus!
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Robert Thomas


From:
Mehama, Oregon, USA
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 5:08 am     Reply with quote

Scot it sounds and looks like you have a very full and rewarding life. Keep up the good works.
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Don R Brown


From:
Rochester, New York, USA
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 6:56 am     Reply with quote

21. You can read a humorous post titled "Benefits of Growing Old", which you have read several times before because it's been around forever, and chuckle and enjoy it because you've forgotten all the items and it's like reading it for the first time all over again! And most of them fit you to a "T"!
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Jeff Garden


From:
Center Sandwich, New Hampshire, USA
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 9:20 am     Reply with quote

Let's not forget the texting abbreviations for seniors:

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend’s Funeral
BTW: Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CGU: Can’t Get Up
CR: Can't Remember
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DTAF: Don’t Trust A Fart
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWBB: Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
FYI: For Your Indigestion.
GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
GOML: Get Off My Lawn
GTG: Got the Gout
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHMO: In My HMO...
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
JK: Just Kvetching
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
MGAD: My Grandson’s A Doctor
MILF: Meal I'd Like To Forget
OMG: Ouch, My Groin!
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
PIMP: Pooped In My Pants
ROFL CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing, and Can’t Get Up
RULKM: Are You Leaving Kids Money?
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
SUS: Speak Up, Sonny
TGIF: Thank Goodness It's Four (Four O'Clock - Early Bird Special)
TLC: Totally Lost Continence
TOT: Texting on Toilet
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WIWYA: When I Was Your Age
WTF: Wet the Floor
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
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Brooks Montgomery


From:
Idaho, USA
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 9:26 am     Reply with quote

Favorite old guys inscription on tombstone:
"I told you I was sick!"
_________________
A banjo, like a pet monkey, seems like a good idea at first.
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Joachim Kettner


From:
Germany
Post Posted 5 Jan 2017 10:25 am     Reply with quote

NRSRO- New Rolling Stones Record Out
_________________
Fender Kingman, Sierra Crown D-10, Evans Amplifier, Soup Cube.
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